been so long since i last blogged or checked this site..
pretty much has happened..
correction..actually lots has happened..
if u wanna noe..haha..ask me..lol..

anyway..
i m listening to jake shimabukuro playing "while my guitar gently weeps"..
it's really nice tune..and evokes much feelings..
n as i was listening..
n thinking..
i suddenly felt v moody..
how crazy is tt..listening to one of my fav tunes n yet feeling moody..
but well..
i m..
i m thinking n wondering..
how much does anyone know abt anyone else?
how much does anyone noe abt me?
even the ppl closest to me..
how much do they noe abt me? the things i hv been thru..
the feelings i m having.. the memories i had..
likewise..
how much do i really noe others..?
for hu they really r?
for wat experiences they really had?
wat memories they hold dear..
wat things they hv been thru..
actually..
i noe the answer..
silly me..asking a question i noe the answer to..
no one can ever noe the other person completely..
ppl always try to present their best sides..
present the side of them they prefer others to see them as..
isn't that the same for me?
so y am i feelin this way now?
y m i feeling like i could noe more..
y m i feeling like i wan to noe more..
n yet..i m doin nothin to let myself noe more..
it's all so frustrating..
fainted..

but oh well..
one thing's for sure..
jake's guitar really super nice..go youtube find..haha
for some reason his version really v different..
even sounds happy n almost like it could tell a story..
a story of how a man n woman met..
the man goes to war..n fights a victorious war..while the woman waits for his return..
one summer day..the man finally returns..
and they are reunited under the sakura trees as the sakura falls around them..

but as i listened to it again today..
i felt suddenly..
that the story din have a gd end..
the ending sounded like there was a second war..the guy went..n died..n all the woman has is the spirit of the guy accompanyin her as she walks down the lane of sakura trees..

haha..
i m thinking too much..
when i should really be studyin for the test i have tml..
lol..

the world is full of variables..
n not just in the texts..
every step we take..
every decision we make..
every word we speak..
any small change in what we decide to do or say may very well change our future..
perhaps it's time i came to terms with all these..
n really start to plan..

wat i hv until now..
hu i m until now..
wat i did until now..
everything from now on has to hv a direction..
reality is setting in..
and i feel..
i kind of feel like i m losing myself..
with all reality setting in..
i find my world slipping away from me..
my fantasies and ideals i once held close seems to be slippin away from my fingertips..
my hopes n dreams have taken on a different form..
hv i found my identity or is my identity meant to be that of a lost girl?
sometimes..
i just wish i could forget everything n b a little girl oblivious to the workings of things ard her..
but i cant..
tts y i have my world..
tts y i nd my world..
but even now..
my world of fantasy..is being invaded by uncertainty..n lack of confidence......

hahaha..
oh well..
anyway..
recently v busy with an additional module..
MAP1101.. it's v interesting module..
no lectures..
self study but with intensive hours of lab..
super enjoyable and requires internet connection..hahha
maple~!!
i m a maple addict now..
lol
speaking of which..
i better stop n go study abt drugs.. -_-
sigh..studies..
cant do without them, cant do with them.

6:21 PM